Protected: Chapter Thirty One

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Strange Days

I’m still sitting here trying to clear the cobwebs out of my brain this morning from sleep, and trying to unscramble the thoughts passing through my head that have sprouted up in the last few days. Between the news and whisperings between friends its hard not to be worried about the way things are going. I feel kind of compelled to get the ducks all in a row so to speak, but cant really explain why because I really don’t even know myself.

Sometimes its hard to believe that no matter what that things will be alright. Its been so rough the last few months. I don’t wanna pop happy pills and walk around with a Pollyanna smile on my face like a lot of people seem to think I should. It’s not going to solve my present situation. I dont think thats the answer for all lifes problems, “take this pill…don’t worry, it’ll fix it.” its all bullshit. All it does is dull your feelings. It doesn’t help you get to the cause of the problem, or help you solve anything.

Has anyone ever considered what people who are going through hard times need are real friends? A lot of hard times are so much easier to weather if you know someone truly cares for you, and is there to help you through it.

Not much and everything at once

Its been one of those weeks this week. I don’t know what to do about the present situation I am in, not that I can particularly get into the details here. I know I need to get a roommate in order to afford another, better place to live. The problem is the offers I have had are putting me in a slightly uncomfortable position, one I’m not sure I want to put myself into. (problem is I may not have a choice if things go as bad as I am expecting)

With the world and this area in the state it is in today, there doesn’t seem much chance out there for help in this case. So many other people are out there in similar shoes, too many. There is such a long waiting list for any kind of help that there essentially isn’t any help for anyone.

All I can do is enjoy these next few days before I know things will be going haywire and pray that they will not go as bad as they seem. The thought of ending up on the street scares me more than anything. Those that think family wont evict me for getting behind financially definitely don’t know my family. Seems the more I try to dig myself out of this, the worse off it gets.

Enjoying the silence, while it lasts.

OK write about something (write about anything)

Sometimes weeks pass by and I still feel as if I have nothing worth posting about to say. Day in and day out life is pretty much the same around here. There may be some heavy stuff going on in my personal life, but its nothing I particularly wanna blog about, and have a few million random people stumble upon. (guess I’m weird like that)

Still doing the occasional random post on twitter, and the good thing about that format is that it doesn’t take much in the way of planning. After all, there isn’t too much one can say in 140 characters, and it doesn’t require a great deal of attention span.

So what is next in my neck of the woods? I haven’t the foggiest. I’ve been plugging away trying to come up with new story ideas but have so far been drawing a big blank. Word is still evil (and I don’t see that changing anytime soon)

I keep backtracking to Sins Of Eden hoping if I re-read the last few chapters enough, that someday it will give me the urge to begin the next one. As of yet Micah has been perpetually storming out of the Police station, and Hudak has been shitting bricks (and will likely remain doing so for the forseeable future)

Questions? Comments? Suggestions? HELP!!!

Delain – April Rain

The Road To Nowhere

I am reposting my first novel here because I’ve noticed it now thanks to a blown up hard drive, only exists in electronic form (I am making new word files also as a backup while doing this) Those friends who would like to read can leave me a comment or an e-mail asking for the password. Keep in mind when I imported the posts from livejournal it messed up the posting order, but the chapters should be clearly labeled.

This novel will not just be passworded for so much the reason of keeping the contents safe, but more the personal nature of this particular book. The people who know me well will know why.

Table of Contents

Prologue
1984 – Parts 1-5
1987 – Parts 1-4
1989 – Parts 1-5
1993 – Parts 1-5
1994 – Parts 1-2
2005 – Parts 1-3
Epilogue

Yes I’m still alive over here

I know its been forever between posts for me this year, and I wish I could say things have been going well, but those that know me know that hasn’t quite been the case.

I know some friends would try to convince me that when I am upset is actually the time I should be writing more, and not less. It is very easy to just sit here and be bummed and not feel like doing much of anything.

The conversation I had with Mort last night, he did have a point, I have to find something to focus myself on, even if it is just for an hour each day, something I am good at, and something that will make me happy, or at least improve my present mood and situation.

So maybe this post is going to be a small baby step in that direction, I hope.

Protected: Chapter Three

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Protected: Chapter Two

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Protected: Chapter One

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