Customer Service My Ass

     I spent all morning and a good chunk of this afternoon, on the phone with the company that built my computer. Turns out a snafu on thier part may have been part of what has been causing my system to crash and burn. Turns out when I ordered a new part for the system a couple of months back, they sent me a faulty and incompatible part which has since become discontinued and recalled.

      The company in their ever infinite wisdom, now refuses to replace said part, and have recommended that I just eat the $83 I wasted and buy a replacement…um…NO! It is bad enough that in the next few days that I am going to have to replace the already faulty power supply and totally wipe and reformat my system, but to add insult to injury they now want more money from me to fix what was their fault to begin with. I am not amused, manager please…or at least someone with a brain cell….

I’m Stuffed, Time To Blog…

     What is it about a full stomach that induces catatonia? I no sooner get full than all I want to do is sit back, vegitate and possibly nap the afternoon or evening away.

     I’m still working on the novel, as the computer issues I have been having have been allowing. I am now not only posting the chapters to my regular blog, but also e-mailing them to myself as a backup to my backup. Losing all that hard work would definitely not be any fun if this all goes kaput somehow, which I am hoping and praying it doesn’t.

     Chapter 31 does have me completely stumped at the present time, not to mention the fact that this novel doesn’t quite have a planned ending yet. It does seem odd even to me, most times I would know the ending before even beginning the story but not this time. Makes it difficult to get from point A to point B wthout knowing what the heck point B even is.

     I do know what part of the middle will be like. Micah, Heaven, Roman, Jonas and Ginny will be digging in for the fight in Eden Hollow. Heaven will give birth to the baby after much difficulty during a violent thunderstorm in mid July. Beyond that it’s hard to tell what is going to happen, guess I haven’t given much thought to the fisheads and her father, which I will have to start doing before the next several chapters can be written. Worst part about writing…if you don’t know…no one else does either.

Tarot – Ashes To The Stars

Wanted to share the video with you….love this damn song…

Merry Christmas To All

      Merry Christmas to everyone in blog land.  I wish that I could say it has been the best year materially, but that would be a sad misrepresentation. I can however say that I have much to be thankful for over last year at this time.

     Last year’s christmas was probably the most difficult that I have ever known. Looking back, I see how much change I have gone through these last twelve months with a bit of amazement at myself. A year ago it felt as if my world was ending, and yet I find, that not only did I survive the breakup of my relationship, but that I am a stronger and wiser person for it. I have learned that my hopes and dreams can no longer revolve around making someone else happy. Giving of yourself is in vain, if you are recieving nothing in return, and it still hurts to see how sadly blind I was to it all.

     So here I sit alone this year, a little older, and hopefully a little wiser. If you’re going through the same thing, please don’t feel alone. If friends with happy relationships and families make you want to run home and cry, you’re not the only one. As soon as you’re alone, have yourself a good long cry like me, and remember there is light at the end of the tunnel, and 2007 will soon be upon us, hopefully a better year than the last.

Ignoring That Inner Voice

     It’s nothing new for me to have to fight with depression, or those lingering negative thoughts that seem to come to mind at the strangest of times. Sometimes it take conscious effort to remind myself that these feeling are only temporary, there are moments when they can be almost overpowering.

     Isolation has got to be one of the worst things I have ever in my life experienced, and yet I still struggle with it on almost a daily. I know that you, my online friends would remind me that you are there to listen. Know while you are dear to me in many ways, internet and phone friendships just cannot replace being able to sit face to face with someone. Sometimes I feel like such a fool for ever having come back to this town, but honestly, I still have no idea where else there is to go.

     Sometimes I fear I have forgotten how to interact with the world outside these four walls. Most people I know online would never believe the struggles I have with chronic shyness, and fear of rejection. Negative experiences over my lifetime have seemed to pre-dispose me to assume the worst.

     It is a sad fact of the human existence that most people will reject others that cannot and do not fit into the mold of what is considered “normal.” I guess I have never had the common sense or the desire to be anything but myself. What is the lesser of the two evils, living to please others and making myself miserable, or being who I am and living with the continued rejection form those who cannot accept it?

     Those of us that will never fit into the mold often want so badly to believe that it is alright to just be who we are. All we want is to know there is one person in this world who truly loves us despite the differences others see as flaws. Sadly, this seems the impossible dream to obtain, and for me the search continues.

Micah-Type Plotting

     Planning out chapters seemed so simple at first, but here I sit at the beginning of chapter 31 of the novel and I’m stuck. The next chapter will deal with 2 characters that I have never had to deal with as a combination up until now, Roman and Jonas. The irony here falls in the fact that the two characters are absolutely nothing alike, or have anything in common.

     How does one prepare to write a chapter that will take place on the road possibly across a handful of state over a three day period? I know I should probably take into account looking over a road atlas, and possibly looking up info on a handful of towns that may fall along the route they would most likely take. One way or another this chapter is most definintely going to be a challenge. The most difficult thing of all may be keeping the forward momentum to get this damn book finished.

Tarot – Crows Fly Black

     It’s not very often that an album thuroughly impresses me, and even more rare still that I can claim that I enjoy every song on one. I can however make that claim when it comes to this album, easily the best album I have heard in a handful of years.

     Unknown to most this awesome metal band from Finland has been around now for approximately twenty years, but have not recieved the praise or attention their music very much deserves. The band presently consists of Marco Hietala (Bass & Vocals) Zachary Hietala (Guitar) Pecu Cinnari (Drums) Janne Tolsa (Keyboards) now with the addition of Tommi Salmela (Additional Lead & Background Vocals)

Where to begin with reviewing this album? I guess it might be best just to start from the very beginning. (This is my first official review so bear with me) I won’t even pretend to have the technical expertise of some reviewers, only knowledge of what does or does not sound good to my ears.

Crows Fly Black- I got my first taste of this song when the band posted it on their site wingsofdarkness.net the day of the album’s official release in Finland. The intro of the song had no difficulty catching my attention, almost dream-like until the opening chords of the song hit like a brick wall…wow. It’s most definitely a great opener.

Traitor – This is most definitely a song where the addition of Tommi so completely kicks ass. Marco alone = awesome, Marco & Tommi = completely out of this world. Heavy, fast paced and absolute fun to listen to.

Ashes To The Stars – This has to be my favorite on this disc by far vocally. (not to mention the video completely rocks) Just a warning, this song will get stuck in your head, it may not leave for days.

Messenger Of Gods – Whoa, a heavy and damn angry sounding song, ya gotta love those, they’re so much fun.

Before The Skies Come Down – I randomly find myself singing along with this song whenever it plays. I so love the guitars on this track.

Tides – I absolutely have to say that this song completely floored me. The music and vocal harmonies are absolutely gorgeous, it’s most definitely the highlight of this disc in my opinion.

Bleeding Dust – Another one of those fun songs that leaves you looking for the lyrics to see if you heard things right. now that that’s done, this song really is a lot of fun to listen to, lol, and I need my ears checked I think.

You – Angry, thought provoking, and a hell of a lot of fun to sing along with.

Howl! – An absolutely bad ass song, especially vocally. it has to be heard to be appreciated.

Grey – I’d have to say this is an awesome ending to an album that is all too short. The music, vocals and lyrics on this song are absolutely stellar. (I’m a sucker for thought provoking lyrics)

     In closing, I would have to say, I don’t think there are many bands who have put out as much consistent quality music as they have over the last two decades. “State Of Grace” off their album Stigmata is still one of my long-time favorite songs. I am hoping that this album finally brings them the acclaim and attention that they deserve, they have earned it and in my opinion are long overdue.

Novel Update

     It seems forever that I have been working on this novel even though I know I have only been writing since the first of November. I am approximately 65,000 words into it, and figure I may now be about three-fourths of the way done. (but I am only guessing) I am hoping that I can keep enough motivation to actually get this finished.

     Other than this there is really not much going on. i’m getting ready for christmas, and trying to keep things somewhat together here with the house. I figure that I might take whitney out to a nice dinner tonight with the money that Angel gave me for Christmas, I think that she would really like that. Look for more updates later on this sadly, sadly neglected blog.